The Radical Romancer (of Life)

Who am I? Till a few years back, I had a clear idea of who I am. Today, I realize I was or am nothing close to that idea. I am discovering myself every single day, every single moment. Till a year ago, I had no clue that I had a love for paint and brushes. In the last few months, I have painted more than a dozen glass bottles and I totally loved doing them. In short, I am exploring everyday – who I am, what I love, what makes me tick, what is this world like, what are people like beyond their beliefs and projections. I am an explorer on a journey of life learning to be alive. People know me by the name Pallavi Srivastava.

Up till a few years ago, I was working as a business journalist. I was earning good. My colleagues were fun and fundamentally good people at heart. I felt important to know the big shots of the corporate world. It felt a matter of pride to eat, laugh and drink with the most important people in the business world. Logic said I should have been very happy and content. I wasn’t.

I was highly dissatisfied, very unhappy & sad and I didn’t know why. One day when I was sitting in my office, I had this feeling that I can’t do it anymore, not for a minute more. I picked up my bag and walked out from that office, knowing only one thing that I am never going to come back there or to any other office like that again. I figured out the official details of leaving later but in my head I quit that day.

For the last four years, I facilitate people to find their inner happiness and peace and help them acknowledge, embrace and be who they truly are. In doing so, I discover myself every day and it helps me to acknowledge, embrace and be who I truly am. In the worldly terms, I am working as a clinical hypnotherapist and a mindfulness trainer.

It was not an easy decision to quit a secure career and begin all over again, but the desire to be truly happy was strong enough to give me the courage to do so. The ride so far has been thrilling, exciting, fun and bumpy sometimes but not for one moment it has been boring and routine. I am happy I chose this.

And yes, I continue my love for writing too by doing freelance projects for UNICEF, Times Internet and a few other brands every now and then. I am truly happy doing what I am doing.

I am five feet tall with a dusky complexion, dark brown eyes and long hair that I adore. My smile and bright colors around make me feel pretty. Accepting myself and being me makes me feel pretty.
As long as changing anything about myself is concerned, I feel there is always scope of improvement till our very last breath. Every day ends with new learnings and every morning starts with an upgraded version of me.

                                    

Mini doses of happiness

A smile that comes from the heart, a carefree laugh, a good cup of coffee, special omlette, rains, sitting in silence by myself, flowers and huge trees, candles, little acts of kindness (both doing and receiving them) and sometimes doing nothing, thinking nothing and just being present to the moment makes me happy on a daily basis. Besides that, I am working on a novel. Finishing it, seeing it published and enjoyed by people will make me really happy.

On those days when the world takes over and the stress monster grows on me, I take refuge in painting or reading. A brush dipped in a thick bright color moving on a bottle somehow recharges my heart. Reading takes me to a world of its own where sometimes I can just live a fantasy. Sometimes, books help me find answers and solutions on challenges I am facing in reality. Whenever I can steal some extra time, I lie down on my terrace and stare at the sky, sometimes for hours. It reassures me that everything is alright and the world is a beautiful place.

I can best describe my motto in life by this song: “Main Zindagi ka sath nibhata chala gaya, har fikra ko Dhuyen men udata chala gaya”.

My most lucid dream

With my eyes open I dream that one day people will see the inherent goodness in themselves and others. People are generally good, to be trusted and loved. Life is to be enjoyed and lived passionately and joyfully. Our natural state is to be happy, peaceful and in awe of the goodness around us. I dream of the day when most of us will realize and believe this. That is the dream that drives me to get out of bed every day and I believe I will live to see that day come true.

A moment that changed my life
I used to be a very unhappy person at one point of time in my life. Very unhappy, sad and always disappointed with life and people. On one such day of distress at work, my colleague and dear friend (Surbhi Chawla) came to me and said, she would really want me to read a book. At that time we were not on very good terms with each other for certain reasons, nevertheless, I asked her what the book is about. She said it is a self-help book. In my arrogance, I mocked her and said I don’t think I need a self-help book. A few minutes later, during our coffee break, someone else brought up the book again. Surbhi was sitting there; she probably took this as a sign and got up to go to the office library next to the cafeteria, issued that book and gave it to me. With an intention to flip through it I opened the book.

That coffee break extended for another hour as I could not stop myself from reading it. That day changed my life forever. For the first time I realized there is more to life and to me, than I thought. I never looked back again. Life and me both are both more alive today, thanks to that day. The book was ‘The Secret’ by Rhonda Byrne. 

Since that day many books and youtube videos have a played a key role in my learnings about life and I feel content like this should be a key part of curriculum at schools. There is a lot of stuff being taught to children which they hardly use ever in their life but what we all need is life skills: the art of being happy, the passion to live. We need to make this a part of the knowledge imparted in schools and it will truly make a difference to people at an individual level and will also make our society more happy and peaceful.

What price LOVE?

A few weeks back I was talking to a friend about what love is and this friend told me loving is accepting someone without any conditions whatsoever. He said, “We say we love our parents but get upset when they don’t understand us. Parents say they love their children but then they get upset when the children don’t fulfill their expectations. It is ok to have expectations from people we love but if we truly love them then the fulfillment of these expectations or lack of it will have no impact on our love for those people. The day we reach that level we can say we have learned to love.”  Well, I am still learning!